


Don't Let Go of The Shattered Pieces

by PhoenixstarKina



Series: One-Shots [3]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst, Angst and Smut, M/M, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-09
Updated: 2014-02-09
Packaged: 2018-01-11 17:19:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,113
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1175759
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PhoenixstarKina/pseuds/PhoenixstarKina
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The night before Trost is attacked by the Colossal Titan, Marco's acting pretty strange, like he's expecting something bad to happen. Jean doesn't know exactly how to handle it, but he plans to make that night the best night for Marco to try and cheer him up. It's not until over a month later that he finds out why Marco was acting so weird.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Don't Let Go of The Shattered Pieces

**Author's Note:**

> This has been on tumblr already, but I decided to move it here! It's just smut and angst with a tiny bit of happy at the end!

Marco had been acting weird all day, and it had not avoided Jean’s attention. Not even as Marco led him into their room for the night.  
  
He seemed on edge yet so relaxed at the same time. He had smiled that day, but it never seemed real. His eyes never lit up like they used to. Instead, they seemed sad, tired, an almost defeated look in them. And if Jean were truthful, it scared him.  
  
"We’re going to be in Trost tomorrow." Jean spoke. They were removing their gear, leaving only shirts and boxers on. "We’re patrolling the streets, I can show you around then."  
  
There was the sad smile again. Marco said nothing as he held out his hand to Jean. The younger male took the offered hand, letting his lover lead him into bed and hovering over him.  
  
"Marco, what’s wrong? You’ve been acting weird all day." Jean allowed himself to be pulled down into a kiss so full of love and acceptance and just pure, raw, emotion. The heat pooled in them slowly, licking at the two of them like a gentle flame. With a light hum, Jean pulled away. “Marco…”  
  
"Make love to me, please Jean." Marco whispered. "Please."  
  
He could not say no, not with the love that filled those eyes that held sadness and pain just hours earlier.  
  
Their lips reconnected with a new softness and passion. It felt like everything was new, like they were meeting for the first time. Like soothing waves and heating flames at the same time.  
  
Jean was surprised at the feeling and hummed again as Marco’s arms wrapped around his neck to pull him closer. His own hands traveled down over Marco’s arms, ghosting over his stomach before settling at his hips.  
  
What was left of their clothes was quickly taken off. Marco was sitting up with Jean in his lap, and Jean moaned as Marco pressed featherlight kisses on his neck. He shivered as teeth grazed his skin. There would be a deep mark in the morning and, with a wince, Jean wondered if it would not scar. Marco was never rough, but the bite had been harsh and skin breaking. Marco paused for a moment before kissing the mark and moving to the other side of Jean’s neck.  
  
"What’s with you tonight?" Jean laughed breathlessly. "You’re never like this." Not that he was complaining. He tilted his head down to capture Marco in another kiss before the boy laid back down, leaving Jean straddling his waist. "What’s wrong?"  
  
"Nothing’s wrong." Marco moaned as Jean leaned down to nip at his chest. "Just…please Jean."  
  
"Alright, alright. Hold on a second." Jean moved, grabbing the small thing of lube they had and making sure his fingers were slick before settling between Marco’s legs. His tongue twirled over the head of Marco’s erection, distracting his lover as he slowly stretched him. Marco’s soft moans kept him going, adding in a third finger as his mouth was preoccupied with a different task.  
  
Jean looked up at Marco, moving his head back as their eyes connected. He frowned, noticing the tears and pain. “Marco, if it hurts too much we can sto-“  
  
"No. I’m fine." Marco quickly wiped away the tears. "It doesn’t hurt…"  
  
"Then what’s wrong?" Jean pressed, worry marring his face now. "Please, Marco tell me."  
  
Marco shook his head, holding out his hands for Jean again. “It’s nothing, just…I’m ready, come on.”  
  
Jean sighed, knowing Marco would not tell him anything yet. He studied the other man for a moment, the moonlight being their only guide in the darkness. His free hand cupped Marco’s face, bringing him into another kiss as they fell into the familiarity. As Jean pushed in gently, Marco’s hands ran over his shoulders.  
  
Instead of the somewhat fast pace they usually took, this time was slow. Jean knew it was what Marco wanted. Slow, steady, loving, their foreheads pressed together and their eyes closed.  
  
They were panting and moaning and shivering, and it was the most wonderful time. Their hands joined together, fingers entwining and the kisses started again. Jean never sped up, and Marco never asked him to. They did not speak, there was no need to.  
  
All too soon, Marco’s hips began to move in the same rhythm as Jean’s, gasping at the feeling. He hit his climax with a light whisper of the other’s name, Jean following soon after.  
  
They stayed connected, neither wanting to move, even as Jean saw the tears coming back to Marco’s eyes. He bowed his head, resting it on the pillow beside Marco. Something was wrong. Something was making Marco act differently. And it hurt Jean that he did not know what it was, that he could do nothing about it but squeeze Marco’s hands reassuringly and let him cry.  
  
Stifled sobs shook both of them until welcomed darkness claimed them. It was well past midnight, and they would be tired in the morning, but so long as they were together, Jean would make things right. He did not care what he had to do. Anything would be better than to see the pain in Marco’s eyes again.  
  
And if anyone questioned the deep bite mark on his neck, he did not hear them.

 

* * *

 

  
 —one month later—

  
  
Marco’s behavior made all too much sense to Jean now.  
  
"The female titan, it’s Annie." Jean listened to Armin’s explanations with a glare on his face. He and Reiner were the first to hear Armin’s theory, the first to be told of the identity of the titan that had tried to kidnap Eren.  
  
And, just moments before they had been called in to talk to Commander Erwin and Capitan Levi, Jean was the first to be told the identity of his lover’s killer.  
  
"She had Marco’s maneuver gear. We did maintenance checks together, I recognized it when they were checking to see who killed the two captured titans."  
  
"How did she get his gear?" Erwin questioned.  
  
Jean growled. “She killed him. She killed him, because he knew she was a titan shifter.”  
  
He saw Eren and Mikasa tense up. Marco’s death had been a touchy subject for the 104th squad. Most of them believed it to be by one of the titans killed after the hole in the wall at Trost was sealed. “What do you mean?” Mikasa asked.  
  
"The day before Trost was attacked…Marco was acting weird." Jean forced himself to talk. It was the first time in a while that he had even mentioned Marco. "He wouldn’t smile like normal, he looked tense, but relaxed. And his eyes…" Armin’s hand on his shoulder gave him little comfort. "That night…he was crying. We…" He hesitated again, letting the others figure out for themselves what happened that night. "He cried, not just some little tears, he was sobbing. He never does- did that.”  
  
"He did seem a bit off." Eren muttered. "But that doesn’t mean Annie killed him."  
  
"No? Then I suppose he knew about the attack on Trost and staged his death?" Jean retorted. "Why else would he act like that? If I remember right, he asked Annie to help him with some sparring earlier that day, and when they came back, he was acting weird.  
  
"And then, when you were moving the boulder, Annie, Bertholdt, Reiner, and I met up with him. Most of his team got killed beforehand and we decided to come and help save your sorry ass. When we moved, there were five of us. When we got there, it was only me and Bertholdt."  
  
Armin’s eyes widened, turning into a calculating look at Jean’s explanation. “He’s right Eren. I only saw the two of them. And Reiner was carrying Annie when we found them, he said she cut her leg.”  
  
"So she killed him to keep him quiet, so she could get to Eren." Levi muttered before looking at Jean. "You and Bodt were to join the Military Police, weren’t you?"  
  
Jean nodded. “We were, but Marco was thinking about the Scouting Legion after Eren’s little speech.”  
  
Levi looked down at the table. “Then her secret being out was not her only worry. If you two had joined the Military Police, there would have been no way for her to sneak off to get to the brat. You both would have noticed.”  
  
"But with Marco dead," Armin continued from where Levi stopped, "Jean would be less likely to join, because it was his and Marco’s choice.” He cast an apologetic look to Jean before speaking again. “She figured he wouldn’t go to the Police, because it would remind him too much of Marco. And with the rest of us joining the Scouting Legion, she bet on him coming with to be with us.”  
  
Jean paid no more attention to the conversation. It was all her fault. Marco was dead because she had turned traitor to them. But he blamed himself for it as well. If he had only pushed harder for Marco to talk, if Marco had only told him…Jean could have kept him safe. If he had helped Marco that day, his lover would still be there, probably planning this attack with them. But Marco was not there. He never would be.  
  
Absentmindedly, Jean brought a hand to his neck. He had been right, the bite marks were now deep scars. Where Marco’s canines had been were the deepest. He could still feel Marco biting down sometimes. It was the only physical reminder Jean had that Marco was ever truly with him. Thinking back to that night almost brought him to tears. He knew he was going to die, and Jean just hoped that he made that last night the best night Marco ever had.  
  
"-so we can lead her to the tunnels and see if she really is one. Jean, are you listening?" He looked up, seeing Armin patiently waiting for his answer.  
  
"Huh? Yeah, lead Annie to the tunnels to see if she can go in them or not. I heard you."  
  
"Obviously you didn’t." Armin sighed. "You won’t be leading her, I will. You will be posing as Eren with Capitan Levi and Commander Erwin.”  
  
"Oh…alright." He did not argue. If anyone could come up with a plan to capture her, it was Armin. He did have one thing to add. "When the time comes though…She’s mine. I get to kill her." His gaze hardened into a glare again. "She took the only good thing I had, so I get to take away her life."  
  
He could feel the commander’s eyes on him, shocked yet impressed. They continued to plan out their attack well into the night. Once it was settled, the others left, leaving only Erwin and Jean in the meeting room.  
  
"You really want to see her dead, don’t you?" Erwin asked.  
  
Jean nodded silently. Of course he did.  
  
The commander shook his head. “If you didn’t claim the honor, I’m sure Levi would have. He wants her to pay for killing his squad, Petra especially. Annie’s hurt you both the same.”  
  
Jean blinked in surprise. He had heard the rumors about Levi and Petra, but never knew if they were true or not. “All the more reason for her to be dead then.”  
  
Erwin hummed. “Seems that way.” He stood up. “After she’s questioned, I’ll let you have her. And after that…I think you’ll make a pretty good apprentice.”  
  
His head snapped up in shocked. It was another rumor he heard, that the higher ups in the Scouting Legion would sometimes take on apprentices that would take over their position once their apprenticeship was over, and he knew that Christa and Armin were already apprenticed to Nanaba and Hanji. It was more common for the Special Operations Squad, and he heard that Erwin’s last apprentice had been Levi, who led the Operations Squad. Before and after that, he had never taken on another apprentice.  
  
"You seem surprised." Erwin chuckled.  
  
"I…yeah."  
  
"Don’t be. You’ll make a fine leader some day. One that I’m sure Marco would be proud of."  
  
Jean looked back down, his hand covering the scars again. _Marco… you said I would be a good_ _leader…_  
  
He removed his hand and looked back up at the commander with a nod. “I promise I’ll be a good apprentice.”  
  
Erwin smiled. “I’m sure you will be.”  
  
For the first time in the month that had passed since he found Marco, Jean allowed himself to feel slightly content. _Can you see this Marco? I promise….I promise to be a good leader. And, I’ll make sure nothing like that happens ever again!_


End file.
